Thursday, May 28, 2020

A Virtual Group for Women

It seems that the #1 complaint of women is their body size (after their hair complaints, of course). Coming towards the end of our world wide lock-down, it seems like a good time to address that weight issue.

The women I’ve talked to are eager to lose between 10 and 60 pounds. Many of them say they want to be reasonable, so they will just say they want to lose 10 pounds; that way the goal won’t seem too onerous. After all, 90% of these women have been in numerous weight loss programs before and they know it’s easy to lose that first 10 pounds. Of course, once the program is over and they are back to their regular habits, those 10 pounds come back and usually bring another 5 pounds with them.

As one woman told me, “I know exactly how to gain weight, but I don’t seem to know how to lose it.”

“I’ve gone to Weight Watcher’s and Metabolic Weight Loss and I got so sick of chicken breasts I could die,” they tell me. Then they’ve tried exercise of all kinds, such as walking, jogging, half-marathons, Camp Gladiator Workouts, and even Cross Fit. They got stronger and in better shape, but they didn’t lose much weight.

The truth is, you cannot maintain a diet that keeps you hungry. One of your most powerful instincts is to avoid starvation. The only diet that can be sustained – by anyone – is a diet that allows you to eat until you are full and, at the same time, promotes weight loss and good health. ~Dr. John McDougall


What would be possible?

  • Could you stop feeling bad about yourself because you have failed so many times?
  • Could  you finally buy clothes you love?
  • Could  you feel more confident and project a new look?
  • Could you find romance (if you’re looking)?
  • Could you be a role model of health for your kids or grandkids?
  • Could you finally quit struggling with your weight?

I’m going to let you in on a secret.

With over a decade of writing, coaching, and enabling women just like you, I know that each of these are possible RIGHT NOW.  There’s a simple formula that I have used for designing a healthy, weight loss program that can then become the most energizing, creative, and valuable asset in your life.


What in the world is a “virtual club,” you may be asking.

It is a little bit like a Facebook group, only much better.  There is a dedicated APP that we can use to privately communicate with one another.  Women who have been living this lifestyle for years can root for you and encourage you.  Women who are completely new to this lifestyle can learn all about it.  Everyone can gather new recipes and meal planning strategies.

Because this is a “whole new world,” we can make it up as we go along and support one another.

Please note: June 1st is the actual starting date, and I would love to have you join me as a Charter Member.  Give it a couple of months to flesh out, and I hope you will decide to continue on as a member.  However, once you have given it a fair trial, you are welcome to drop out if it doesn’t fit you.  You may cancel your membership anytime before your next monthly billing cycle.

To read more about it, please visit

Looking forward to “seeing” you!

Thursday, October 10, 2019

Rags, the "Live Wire" Feral Cat

L to R: Rags and Midnight

My body aches. My eyes are swollen and the tears still come. The crying is not as jagged, and, thank goodness, the sobs encompassing my body have begun to level off.

Rags, the cat on the left, was killed by a fox in the early morning hours of Tuesday.

When I called the cats for breakfast on Tuesday morning, he was missing.  I worried and called for him on and off all day and when he still didn’t show up for dinner, I got very anxious.

A neighbor called me Tuesday night to say that the guys working on the golf course before daybreak that morning, told her they had seen a fox grab the cat.

“NO!” “NO!” “NO!”

As I left for the gym that Tuesday morning about 6:45, I saw that fox run across the road in front of me… NEVER dreaming he had just killed my cat!

I had read a couple of years ago, that foxes didn’t bother cats as they didn’t think it was worth getting scratched up.  But, I guess if a cat got scared by the mowers and started running across the golf course, the fox would give chase.  I’ve watched those foxes run at lightning speed and scale 10-foot walls, so I know they could catch a cat if they decided to.

Since December of 2009, I have trapped seven cats that people have dumped in the neighborhood, in what the organization, Alley Cat Allies, calls the Trap-Neuter-Return (TNR) program. They have all been taken to the vet to get examined, neutered/spayed, and given vaccines. They have also had their left ear tipped to let others know that they have been neutered.  After their vet visit, I bring them back to my yard and feed them twice a day.  Even when I go out of town, I hire someone to feed them.

I love them as much as I love any of my pets.  When they stay in the yard, I feel thankful.  When they wonder off, I get scared.

Rags has been a little “live-wire” since he showed up two and a half years ago.  He was very skinny and his coat was a shambles, hence his name. The entire time we had Rags, he would show up once or twice a week with a new sore on his neck, ears, back or legs.  None of the other cats has any marks, so I have never figured out how Rags kept getting injured.

My Q-tip and Neosporin were used as often as I could do a sneak rub to his sores while he was eating.

Rags loved to be physically close to other cats (not to humans) and when he first came, he started following the other cats around.  They did not like it one bit, and I heard a lot of cat screaming.  I don’t think they ever attacked each other, but there was always a lot of commotion.

After a couple of months, Midnight, who is pretty calm and laid back, began to let Rags follow him around.  So, for two years, they were basically always together.  They traveled as a pair. They rubbed heads whenever they saw each other. They slept together.

Midnight seems bereft and I’m sure he misses his companion tremendously.  We have a new young cat, Pepper, who ran up to Midnight today and rubbed heads, like he was consoling him.  Maybe he can help ease his loneliness.

One Thanksgiving the weather turned cold, and Rags and Midnight disappeared.  I feared the worst as they were gone for nearly two weeks.  One morning I got a call from a neighbor about a 15-minute walk away, who had seen the cats.

I couldn’t believe it and grabbed some food and water and drove over to see if I could find them.

There they were!  I was so happy.  I gave them their food and water and then wondered how I would ever get them home.

I went home and grabbed more food and talked my husband into driving me back over to find them.  I called them and shook their food and they actually began to follow me.

It took 30-minutes as they were very slow and cautious, but they followed me all the way home!

One early morning as I was taking my dog for a walk, I kept hearing loud meowing.  I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from as it was dark. We continued on our walk and when we got back it was light enough to see.  There was Rags up in a tree!

He must have outwitted the fox or coyote who chased him that morning, and was able to get up the tree.  However, he went so high up that he couldn’t come down. 

I spent the whole day trying to figure out how to get him.

I called the fire department and they said if he was still up there after 5:00, they would see what they could do.

In the meantime, I asked my wonderful neighbor, Jami, to help me. We carried a big, heavy painter’s ladder from her garage to the tree.  But, it was no where near high enough!

Rags in the large circle

I called a tree trimmer who came out, and after looking over the situation, said he couldn’t go up there as the cat would probably scratch him.

I called a second tree trimmer who came out.  He wasn’t afraid and climbed right up.  However, by the time he got close to the cat, Rags got scared and jumped.  My goodness, he landed on his feet and took off running as fast as his little legs could carry him.

He stayed gone two days before he showed back up for dinner.

Another morning, I went out to feed the cats and Rags was really hobbling.  He had a big sore on his leg and I called the vet who said it sounded like a serious infection and I should try to catch him and bring him in.

That was not going to be an easy chore.

It was cold and he was feeling so bad that he went into his cat house on my porch.  I ran and found a piece of cardboard just the right size and held it over the door.  Then I had to dial Jami once again, with one hand.  I told her to wear a coat and gloves as we were going to have to try to get Rags into the large dog kennel as I had to take him to the vet.

He was so scared, he just huddled in the back of his house and we ended up having to turn him upside down and shake the house to get him into the crate.

After his trip to the vet, I was supposed to keep him contained for at least two weeks until he could put weight on his leg again.

I put him in the garage and added another carrier to his, so he could now have a “double wide.”  He mainly sat on his cushion for the first week, since he still felt bad.

I would go out and talk to him two or three times a day, trying to get him to be comfortable with me.

Eventually his leg healed, and I released him.  Midnight was so glad to have him back!

So many memories with this black live wire.  I’m so sorry to lose him.

Sitting here finding these memories has taken the edge off of his loss for a while.  It’s nice to be able to think of all the memories he brought.

L to R: Rags and Midnight on top of table; Pepper on the ground.

L to R: Midnight, Pepper and Rags

RIP my sweet little baby.  We all miss you!

Friday, November 16, 2018

Why Should You Exercise?

Exercise definitely has some clear health benefits for everyone, but especially for us beautiful older women.

It improves our fitness and sense of well-being. Exercise helps us maintain a normal appetite. It also gives us energy, helps us sleep, improves our circulation and even lowers our blood pressure.  Exercise even improves our mood, strengthens our bones and builds muscle.

What’s not to like?

I think we all know that we should be exercising. We’ve only been hearing it preached, by every health guru around, for decades.

But, knowing and doing are two separate things.

Are you exercising on a regular basis - or do you tend to skip days because it’s raining, or it’s cold, or it’s hot, or you are too busy, or you don’t feel like it?

I have found that you have to make exercise a habit.

When something is a habit, we don’t think about whether we should do it or not – we just do it.

How can you make exercising a habit in your life?

The easiest way to make it a habit is to make yourself accountable to someone else.

Hire a personal trainer, make a firm commitment to meet a friend at the gym or at a walking trail, or get a dog and know you have to walk him every day.

I know many of you have joined a gym, usually in January, but just having a membership doesn’t really hold you accountable.

I have always been intimidated by going to big gym.  I don’t really know how to use the equipment properly and I’m afraid of getting hurt.  I also feel embarrassed that all of those buff people might notice that I am not like them.

Let me tell you what has worked for me for many years and maybe it will give you some ideas to work for you.

I get out of bed and take my dogs for a walk, every morning.  If I don’t, they certainly hold me accountable.

I have also hired Lisa Green as my personal trainer.

What do I like about working with her?

I know that she is a good trainer and well-regarded.  She goes to the Cooper Clinic in Dallas once or twice a year for education and various certifications. She takes classes in new forms of exercise, new routines and learns to work with older adults with injuries.

She owns her own personal, fully-equipped, gym called iSweat. It is as clean as a whistle. I never have to get on equipment that a large, sweating guy has just gotten off of. We can do the routines she has scheduled without having to wait in line for a piece of equipment or change routines because the equipment is broken.

To get in touch with Lisa, send her a message on Facebook.

I challenge you to figure out how you can make exercise a daily habit in your life.  Let me know what you come up with.

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© 2007-2018 Melinda Coker

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: “Melinda Coker, health coach and author of the book, Diet and Cancer: Is There a Connection?, teaches men and women around the world how to develop a healthy lifestyle.”

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Heart Attack vs Cardiac Arrest

Within a week of each other, two friends were taken by ambulance to the cardiac care unit of our local hospital.  They both came very close to death and were lucky that friends/family were close at hand and able to quickly take action.

It turns out that these two women had a different diagnosis for their heart problems.

The first had a heart attack.  After arriving at the hospital, it was discovered that she had a 98% blockage in one artery and an 85% blockage in another.  Her cardiologist told her he was amazed that she made it to the hospital alive.

A heart attack occurs when a blocked artery prevents oxygenated blood from reaching a section of the heart. This can cause damage to the heart.

Sue was playing tennis on a Tuesday morning, when she started having some intense symptoms.  She crumpled onto the court and said it felt like an elephant was sitting on her chest.  By chance, a fire truck was slowly driving by and one of the women at the scene ran out and flagged it down.

The paramedics were able to assess the situation and immediately called an ambulance.

The second friend had a cardiac arrest.  This is caused when the heart's electrical system malfunctions. Death can result when the heart suddenly stops working properly.

Cardiac arrest may be reversed if CPR is performed and a defibrillator is used to shock the heart and restore a normal heart rhythm within a few minutes.

When sudden cardiac arrest occurs, the brain is the first part of the body to suffer because it doesn't have a reserve of oxygen-rich blood. Reduced blood flow to your brain causes unconsciousness.

Betsy was feeling very tired and went to bed early that Friday night. After a while, her husband decided to go in and check on her.  He said her breathing was loud and erratic and she was unconscious.  He immediately called for an ambulance.

The paramedics were able to perform CPR and used a defibrillator on her before taking her on a wild, hour-long ride to the hospital.

Her cardiologist found that she did not have a blockage in her heart, but her potassium levels were drastically low, thus causing her heart’s electrical system to malfunction.  Turns out she was taking the diuretic hydroclorothiazid(HCTZ) which leached all the potassium from her system.

Her pulmonologist had to place her on a ventilator to help her breathing.

Sue had two stents placed to help open her arteries and was sent home after a couple of days.

The doctors were trying to stabilize Betsy’s heart for nearly ten days before they inserted a defibrillator/pacemaker.  Finally, she was feeling better and released a day after her surgery.

There's no sure way to know your risk of sudden cardiac arrest or of having a heart attack, so reducing your risk is the best strategy.

Steps to take to reduce your risk include regular checkups, screening for heart disease and living a heart-healthy lifestyle with the following approaches:

Such incidences as these can certainly scare friends and family, but they can be totally life altering for the victim.

Thank goodness these lovely women lived through their horrible ordeals!
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© 2007-2017 Melinda Coker

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: “Melinda Coker, health coach and author of the book, Diet and Cancer: Is There a Connection?, teaches men and women around the world how to develop a healthy lifestyle.”

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Carrie and Debbie

Carrie Fisher, 60, was on a transatlantic flight from London to Los Angeles when she suffered what most experts believe was a heart attack.  Even though we think of heart attacks and heart disease as diseases in men, heart disease is the number 1 killer of American women over the age of 65.  And, as in the case of Carrie Fisher, if a woman has a heart attack, she is more likely to die than a man.

Debbie Reynolds, her 84-year-old mother, died a day after Carrie of a presumed stroke.  Reynolds was reported to have had a number of previous “small” strokes.

Heart disease and stroke are responsible for far more deaths in women than all cancers combined. Despite this, there is still a myth that heart disease is a man's disease.

What are some causes of heart disease and stroke?

The vital arteries in your body, which supply blood and oxygen to the heart muscles and the brain, can narrow because of fatty materials collecting along their walls. That can cause calcium deposits (plaques), which in turn, cause the blood flow to be restricted or even completely blocked.  This can then cause a piece of plaque (clot) to break off (rupture).  If the plaque travels towards the heart it causes a heart attack. If it travels to the lungs it causes a pulmonary embolism and if it moves to the brain it can cause a stroke.

Some causes of coronary heart disease (CHD) include high cholesterol, diabetes, smoking, obesity and high blood pressure.

Heart attacks and strokes are actually preventable diseases – not through pills or medical procedures - but through your lifestyle.  It’s much more important to learn how to prevent (or even reverse) the narrowing of your arteries through your diet, than to just assume strokes and heart attacks won’t happen to you.

If you need more of an impetus to make a drastic lifestyle change than just reading this post, there are a few simple tests you can have done.  Blood tests to measure your total cholesterol plus your LDL and your HDL are important as is a reading of your blood pressure.  Other blood tests to check your level of inflammation (c-reactive protein) and your homocysteine levels are important, too. Of course, if you smoke, you must quit.  If you are obese, you must lose weight.  If your waist circumference is over 32 inches, you must shrink it. 

To find out what the optimal "test scores” are, you can check out the Healthy Is A Habit website.  

Please make it a priority to get healthy, so you don’t suddenly leave your family without you!

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© 2007-2017 Melinda Coker

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: “Melinda Coker, health coach and author of the book, Diet and Cancer: Is There a Connection?, teaches men and women around the world how to develop a healthy lifestyle.”

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

My Mother

(March 28, 1925 - August 21, 2015)

This picture of my mother, Margaret, was taken a couple of years before I was born.  She gave it to her fiancee, Joe, who was going off to war.  They would marry a year later when Joe was home on leave.  That was the beginning of my family.

My mother was the youngest of eight children.  When she was five, her parents divorced. Because her mother could no longer afford to feed all of her children, she had to send my mother to live at the Children's Home. She lived there for five years.

I grew up the oldest of five children.  My father was an engineer and worked at various aerospace plants over the years.  We moved to a different city and a different state every four or five years.  My mother never let on that this was something bad or difficult.  We just moved and she would join a church and make new friends and it was considered normal.

My mother was a homemaker.  She cared for all of us, she cooked every meal, sewed most of our clothes, ironed our clothes and kept our house spotless.  She was the disciplinarian and made sure we followed the rules, but I remember that we had a lot of fun, too. 

My mother was very social and nurturing.  She was always inviting lonely college and foreign students over for dinner.  It seems we nearly always had an extra person sitting down at our dinner table.  We often had cousins living with us for months at a time when their families were struggling.

We took vacations each year - crowded into our station wagon and driving cross country from wherever we happened to be living at the time.  Extended family was important and most of our social life revolved around family and church friends.  If we visited family, bedding was pulled out so that all the kids could sleep on the floor.  Bedrooms were scarce in those days.

During college, I lived on campus but in the same town as my family.  Nearly every Sunday I would bring friends home to eat dinner with my family.  My mother never acted like she minded the extra work and welcomed anyone we brought home.

 Once I graduated, married and started teaching school in another town, I would bring some of my seemingly shy and insecure elementary students to visit our family for a lively weekend.  

While I was raising my own family, we had many exchange students and would always include them in visits to my parents' home.  

Most of the time that my children were growing up, my parents lived in Arizona and we lived in Texas.  When we visited grandparents there was flat land and empty streets good for bicycle riding or skating.  There was an association swimming pool for summer or winter swimming.  There was a neighborhood playground for releasing energy.  There were desert mountains to climb via hiking trails.  And there were orange and grapefruit trees in the yard.  If we picked the oranges, my mother always made us fresh-squeezed orange juice.  Plus she would always have home made biscuits for breakfast.  And there were pallets on the floor for the kids.  

My parents never missed any of their 12 grandchildren's graduations or weddings.  They would drive from Arizona to Texas for our high school graduations.  They would drive or fly all over the country to attend college graduations and weddings of their many grandchildren.









During the 1994-95 school year, our son spent a year in Spain as an exchange student.  In March of 1995, my parents joined us on a week-long trip to visit him.  It was quite the adventure and we all had a great time.


My father was diagnosed with early Alzheimer's in 1996.  My mother cared for him at home for over four years.  But after he began having such difficulty walking that he would fall and bring my mother down with him, she finally realized she needed help.  He was moved to a small home with 24-hour care a 15-minute drive away.  My mother still visited him and tried to help with his daily care until he died in September 2001.

His death was very hard on her, but she continued to volunteer and care for other people like she had always done.


In March of this year, all forty-four members of my mom's family (kids, grandkids, great grandkids) assembled at the Arizona Golf Resort in Mesa, AZ to celebrate her 90th birthday.  Granny got to stay at her home, but everyone was able to walk from the resort to visit her in small groups.  The last night of our celebration we reserved a private dining room where everyone could gather together to eat and show our love and respect for our treasured matriarch.

How do you distill someone's life into a short blog post?  My mother had 90-year's worth of experiences, so of course, I was only able to highlight a few of the times I remember.  It has taken me three months since her death to be able to do this.  The last fourteen months of her life were so painful and difficult for her, which made it difficult for the rest of us to stand by, unable to do anything but watch over her and ask her doctors for help. But, that's why I needed to go back and remember all of those years of good times. 

RIP Mom.  I love you.

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© 2007-2015 Melinda Coker

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Think Differently about Syrian Refugees

On a recent radio show, The Take Away, I listened to the host, John Hockenberry, interview Rabbi Jonathan Sacks about Europe's current refugee crisis.  Rabbi Sacks is a global religious leader who was Chief Rabbi of the United Kingdom from 1991 to 2013.

The two men first discussed Jewish refugees trying to leave Germany in 1938.  That crisis brought together diplomats from thirty-two countries who met in Avignon, France in June of that year. But every nation represented, closed it's doors to the refugees.  In the midst of that meeting, a few heroic individuals organized on the side a rescue train - which would eventually transport 10,000 Jewish children out of Germany.  Private citizens or organizations had to guarantee payment for each child's care and education. This series of rescue operations was informally called Kindertransport and it became a bright spot during one of history's darkest times.

Rabbi Sacks believes that a Kindertransport type gesture is needed today for the refuge children crowding the Syrian border.

When asked how he thought countries could welcome, embrace and assimilate the muslim refugees from Syria today, he responded:

I've been saying that Britain should be exporting a message of coexistence from Britain to the Middle East instead of importing a message of conflict from the Middle East to Britain.  Because in Britain we got on very well with the Muslim and Jewish communities.  We worked at that relationship. Locally in Britain we have managed those relationships well, but there is a huge spillover in Europe of the politics of the Middle East.  Today with all our global media a conflict anywhere becomes a conflict everywhere. 

Hockenberry then asked, "Why is it so hard for Israel to envision having a sanctuary for some of these people from Syria?  Often it is within walking distance."

Rabbi Sacks responded that Israel does offer medical sanctuaries. Because of political sensitivities, helping these refugees with medical care, has to be done well below the radar.

Sacks continued,

Israel has continued to be an asylum.  There's no question that Israel is only one of two countries (the other being the U.S.) that was built on and exists as a refuge for asylum seekers. There's no doubt that Israel has offered asylum, but at the same time, you understand that many Syrians themselves  are worried that if  they take refuge in Israel they will no longer be able to return to Syria.

Hockenberry: "Do you think the U.S. should do more?"

Sacks replied,

The U.S. is an enormous country who has thus far taken in only a few refugees from the Middle East.

I think humanitarian gestures go further to change the climate of international politics than military interventions.  Military interventions leave behind a legacy of resentment.  Humanitarian interventions leave behind a legacy of gratitude.

So if I were talking about long term winning the peace I would say that being a home for refugees would probably be the single most effective thing that Europe and the United States could do.

More weapons simply reinforce more of the conflicts of the past and allow us to replay and replay and replay conflicts which are never resolved.

Hockenberry: "Where is courage being shown now?"

Sacks answered,
I think Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany, is showing that courage right now. She's talking about bringing in as many as 800,000 refugees.  That would be far more than all of the rest of Europe put together.  This is courageous and is very clearly being driven by a sense of historical memory, pain, grief, guilt - an attempt to redeem the past.

I think when you do attempt to redeem the past by an act of generosity and open heartedness and an open door policy then you do actually change the world.  That is the history we remember and it gives us hope as human beings.
I think an American historian calculated there has only been 29 years of peace since human civilization began.  So war is the eternal story.  But I think too much hope has been sucked out of the atmosphere of the Middle East and although it's another subject for another time, I do believe Jews, Christians and Muslims have to come together and say we all are members of the family of Abraham and there is such a thing as reconciliation.  Genesis is full of sibling rivalries but it ends with reconciliation between Joseph and his brothers and bear in mind that his brothers wanted to kill him  and eventually sold him as a slave.
The children of Abraham have a literature of hope. And I think I would sit with those children and talk those stories through and say that is your story and that is my story  and together we can build a world if we're willing to make that our story as well.
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© 2007-2015 Melinda Coker

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: “Melinda Coker, health coach and author of the book, Diet and Cancer: Is There a Connection?, teaches men and women around the world how to develop a healthy lifestyle.”