Monday, January 26, 2015

Would a One Million Dollar Reward Change Your Plan?

One morning during the recent holidays, while I was working in the kitchen, my young granddaughters sat at the breakfast table playing a game of Table Topics.  That’s a game consisting of a pile of cards with questions.  It was fun listening to them as they took turns reading the questions and then discussing their answers.

One question in particular caught my attention. “If you were offered one million dollars could you get straight A’s next year?”  Of course, both of them answered in the affirmative and said that they were already trying to make straight A’s so it probably wouldn’t make any difference.


I immediately started thinking about that question as it might relate to more average students.  After all I am a former college instructor.  A high school or college student might get very motivated by that possible reward and do some things differently, such as:
1.) Really pay attention in class.
2.) Make an appointment with their teacher/professor if there was something they didn’t understand.
3.) Hire a tutor for the subjects that were more difficult for them.
4.) Make sure they were spending enough time studying and doing class assignments.
5.) Roll back on any extra curricular activities that were interfering with their study time.
6.) They would make sure they got enough sleep each school night and that they ate nutritious meals so they would be at their best in class.


If you’ve been thinking about getting a new job, starting a part-time business or even launching a big project, what would you do differently to pursue that goal if you were offered one million dollars to get it done in the next year?  You might take some of the following actions:
1.) Maybe you would have a new sense of urgency and wouldn’t let other things get in your way of working on it.
2.) You would really try to develop your goal and figure out exactly what you want to accomplish.
3.) You would possibly hire someone to help you, such as a coach, a mentor, a professional resume’ writer or even a graphic artist.
4.) Maybe you would take on a partner so you could share your expertise and resources and work together.
5.) You would probably make a list of all of the steps you could think of to make your project a success.


You may have been thinking about organizing your home or office for a couple of years, but just haven't gotten started.  If you were offered a million dollars to get it organized, you might think about the following ideas:
1.) You would probably make a specific list of exactly what you want to get organized.
2.) If you are not the organized type, you might call in a professional organizer to help you.
3.) Maybe you would purchase some plastic bins to use for sorting – the things you will keep and the things you will dispose of.
4.) Once the sorting is completed, you might decide to spruce things up a bit by purchasing some new furniture or storage units so you would be more inclined to stay neat and organized.


I know most of you have been thinking of losing some weight but you just haven't gotten around to it. What if you were offered one million dollars to lose that extra twenty pounds in a year?  That could  be the motivation you need.  Some steps you might take would be:
1.) Research and decide on a diet plan.
2.) Find an accountability partner or a coach.
3.) Keep a journal of all the food you eat.
4.) Weigh weekly.
5.) Read motivational stories of others who have lost weight.
6.) Stick with your plan.
7.) Revaluate monthly.

I’m sure you have thought of even more ways that a one million dollar reward could get you started on one of your goals.  Thinking that way certainly helps you develop some clarity about what it is you would need to do.

Let me know if that imaginary one million dollar reward helps you refine what you want to accomplish and gives you some understanding about how you would do it.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

The Top 12 Things I Learned on My Latest Trip to Brazil

1.) Beautiful, beautiful scenery!  This view is from a restaurant overlooking the Bay of Paraty.  To get to this magnificent lunch spot on the bluff, we took a 30-minute boat ride from the town.

2.) Christmas is the time to visit São Paulo.  Normally a city of over 11 million people, most of those people leave the city for the holidays which makes it a wonderful time to visit - absolutely no traffic congestion!

3.) São Paulo has numerous beautiful parks and we walked, hiked and climbed through a few of them.  Unusual animals we saw in one of the "wild" parks included capybaras, monkeys, iguanas and black crickets.

4.) Bring your own "Kleenex."  I had to use toilet paper for cosmetic purposes and everything else for which we normally use tissues.

5.) Delicious tiny coffee expressos were served everywhere - in homes, hotel lobbies, gas stations and restaurants.  I don't usually drink much coffee, but those little cups were fun to drink.

6.) Graffiti on nearly every building and wall in the city of  São Paulo.  The vandals seem to pounce on any clean wall or new building.

7.) Signs in many restrooms (including the international terminal at GRU) asking that you do not put toilet paper in the toilets as the plumbing is old and cannot take it.  They keep small covered trashcans next to the toilets.

8.) Weather is moderate.  It feels great and windows are always open, unless it's raining.

9.) The people speak Portuguese and I don’t.  Thank goodness we were with hosts who spoke both Portuguese and English.  I couldn’t even pronounce the words correctly.  You certainly can’t try to use English or Spanish pronounciations as you will be wrong every time.  Some of the English menus were quite comical as it seems they were having as much trouble with English as I was with Portuguese.  I think "Espagueteal Suck" is supposed to mean "spaghetti!"

10.) Hubcap hills and right angle turns.  The roads down to the coast were two-lane and cars were bumper-to-bumper.  The roads seemed to go straight down with complete right angle turns to slow you down.  There were hundreds of hubcaps lining the roads at these turns.

11.) A busload of Columbians - Actually a busload of any nationality usually means disaster.  The Columbians had rented out the whole top floor of our hotel in Campos do Jordão which meant that all of us guests on the first floor were kept awake most of the night.

12.) The toll roads in the state of São Paulo didn't seem too crowded until we got to the only fuel, food and bathroom stop on the road.  The "Roasted Chicken Express" (English name) was so crowded I couldn't believe it.  Cars just had to circle around the whole property waiting for another car to pull out for a parking place.  And, this was not even considered a crowded day!

Sunday, August 18, 2013

American Adults Are Overweight

A headline in today’s local newspaper proclaimed that more than two-thirds of American adults are either overweight or obese.  We have heard that so often that it is no longer shocking.  

What is shocking is this picture of Jack and Jackie Kennedy taken in 1955.  I can already hear your comments, “OMG, they are too skinny!” or “They are so thin, they must have an eating disorder.”  

Do any of you remember when most Americans were this thin?

Today American women seem to be on a perpetual diet, but they don’t seem to be getting any thinner. They say things such as, “I wish I could lose some weight, but I just don’t have the discipline,” or “I really know I should lose some weight, but it’s not that important to me right now.”  Or, we hear the Oprah-like statement, “We just need to be happy with our body, no matter what size we are.”

As a health coach, I want to help people get healthy - and, overweight or obese is NOT healthy.  In fact, I’ve set a goal to help 500 women become healthy.  

How am I going to define “healthy?”

Since it’s important to use objective measures rather than just asking women how they feel, let me explain what I’m going to use.

1.) BMI under 24.9 – To find your BMI, put your current weight and height in the BMI calculator.  If you are in the normal range, “good for you!”

Being overweight or obese is NOT a cosmetic problem.  That extra weight raises your risk for serious health problems such as: gallstones, type 2 diabetes, abnormal blood fats such as high levels of cholesterol and triglycerides, high blood pressure, cancer, osteoarthritis, infertility, coronary artery disease, a stroke and sleep apnea. Medical care related to obesity in our country in 2002 was estimated to be $100 billion.  

2.) Blood Pressure under 120/80 – Blood pressure tends to rise with age if you are not following a healthy lifestyle.  Nearly 1 in 3 American women has high blood pressure.  You can prevent high blood pressure by reducing sodium (salt) intake, being active, and keeping a normal BMI.  High blood pressure increases the risk of heart disease.  To measure your blood pressure, you can schedule an appointment with your physician or go to your local pharmacy and use their FREE blood pressure cuff.

3.) Total cholesterol under 150 mg/dl. – A high cholesterol level puts you at greater risk for coronary heart disease, heart attack, stroke and cancer.  Lower blood cholesterol levels are linked to lower rates of heart disease, cancer and stroke.  To get a cholesterol test, you can give blood at your local blood bank and they will usually send your cholesterol reading for FREE.  You can also schedule a finger prick at a local Walgreen’s, look up an on-line cholesterol screening test or make an appointment with your physician. 

If the readings of your three screenings are not in the “ideal” range, you are welcome to contact me for personal coaching.  If you prefer group coaching, check out the Sassy, Slim and Healthy Spa week.

Friday, July 19, 2013

A Tribute to Blue

Our sweet, tired Blue wore completely out today.  When I took him out the back gate for his absolute favorite pastime in the whole world  - a walk – he just laid down and couldn’t get up.  Rick carried him to the car for a ride to the vet.

Blue was in “shock” and “dehydrated” so the vet kept him at the clinic so he could do some tests.  We were all hoping for a miracle.  After a couple of hours of tests, x-rays and fluids, Dr. Ramsey called to say there was nothing more to do.  The x-ray showed that his heart had shrunk and was unable to produce the blood volume he needed – possibly due to a tumor on his adrenal glands.

Rick and I went back to the clinic and loved on him as he breathed his final breath.

He was such a regal, beautiful dog.

It’s hard to believe he started out so tiny.  Here I am holding him at 3-weeks of age.

Our poodle, Pogo, sired two litters and we were awarded two pups in 2001 – Blue and his sister, Molly, who ultimately went to live with Candace.  Those two were best buddies and ran and played like crazy whenever they were together.

Sometimes to keep them quiet they were put in their pen.

Our dogs have always loved to travel and when in the car they are strapped in with their seat belt harnesses.

Blue was a member of a large “tribe” for awhile with Pogo, Molly and Doodle Bug.  As you can tell, walks could be quite exciting!

Halloween in Hollytree was always quite thrilling, with hundreds of trick-or-treaters.  So Pogo and Blue got dressed up each year and we all sat out on the porch with our treats.

Blue always had a special place in Logan’s heart and whenever Logan would visit, Blue was either in his lap or on his shoulders.

 Blue has also had his moment of fame when he was asked to be in a music video.  Stayton Bonner sings a song about his dog, Willie.  Unfortunately, Willie had died so Blue was asked to stand-in.  He did a great job and we should have gotten him his Screen Actors Guild card so he could have starred in more productions. ☺

A trip to the Circle Star Pet Resort was always a treat for Blue and Riley.

Bye, bye my beautiful boy.

RIP my sweet Blue and enjoy your new, energized body!


Other Links:

Blue could HOWL with the best of them.  He hated for us to leave and he would howl to let us know.

He loved our feral cats and he and Socks would cause quite a ruckus.  Socks will certainly miss you, Blue.

Blue has slowly weaned Riley away from playing as he got sicker.  But, they did love to play while Blue felt good.

The “Me and My Poodle” video by Stayton Bonner

Blue ‘s picture is also featured on the header of the Circle Star Pet Resort website (4th one).

April 5, 2001 – July 19, 2013

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Arthritis, Inflammation and Leaky Gut

If you've got arthritis, you know how painful it can be.  Approximately half of all people over 65 report having arthritis with symptoms of swelling, limitation of motion, or pain.  The regions of the body most affected are the hands, neck, lower back, hip and shoulder.

There are three types of arthritis with a known cause:
  1. Traumatic Arthritis - Joints can be inflamed as a result of an injury, such as from tripping and spraining an ankle.
  2. Suppurative or Septic Arthritis – Joints can be infected with bacteria from the blood stream.  This tends to occur in infants and young children.
  3. Gouty Arthritis – Uric acid crystals can accumulate in the joints.
Other forms of arthritis are said by doctors to have “no known cause.” Arthritis of “no known cause” can be divided into two broad categories:
  1. Degenerative (osteoarthritis) - This is the most common arthritis found in people living in Western civilizations.  It is seen in x-rays of the hands in over 70% of people who are 65 years and older.
  2. Inflammatory - This includes juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, rheumatoid arthritis, psoriatic arthritis, lupus, and ankylosing spondylitis (AS). These aggressive diseases affect less than 5% of the people living in the United States today. 
Arthritis just means inflammation of a joint.  Arthritis is not a genetic disease, nor is it an inevitable part of growing older.  Many studies have linked the inflammation of arthritis to our Western diet.

As recently as 1957, no case of rheumatoid arthritis could be found on the continent of Africa.  These once unknown joint diseases have now become common as people have migrated to wealthier nations or moved to the big cities in their native countries.  With these changes people have abandoned their traditional diets of grains and vegetables for meat, dairy products, and highly processed foods.

Although unknown in Africa before 1960, African-Americans now lead in the incidence of lupus in the US.  The mechanisms by which an unhealthy diet causes inflammatory arthritis are complex and poorly understood, but involve our intestine and immune system.

Leaky gut syndrome has been theoretically suspected as a major factor in a wide range of food and chemical sensitivities, arthritis, asthma, headaches, digestive problems of varying seriousness and chronic fatigue.

Our intestinal lining (or gut wall) is a semi-permeable membrane, like a sieve, that allows small molecules (the products of digestion) to pass through, and blocks the larger molecules. These larger molecules then travel through our intestine and are eliminated. When functioning as intended, the gut wall prevents those larger molecules from stimulating food sensitivity and inflammatory reactions.

Infections, toxins (such as drugs, chemotherapy, anti-inflammatory medications) and an unhealthy diet (too high in fat, cholesterol, and animal protein) can compromise the barrier and allow large molecules to pass into the blood.  This condition of increased intestinal permeability is referred to as a "leaky gut."

Patients with inflammatory arthritis have been shown to have inflammation of the intestinal tract resulting in increased permeability.

What to do about "leaky gut?"

In scientific studies, fasting has been shown to decrease intestinal permeability, thus making the gut "less leaky."  This may be one of the reasons fasting has been shown to dramatically benefit patients with rheumatoid arthritis.  When patients return after the fast to a diet with dairy products, the gut becomes more permeable and the arthritis returns.  An unhealthy diet containing dairy and other animal products causes inflammation of the intestinal surfaces and thereby increases the passage of dietary and/or bacterial antigens (foreign proteins).

Some components of the rich American diet are known to impair the function of the immune system.  Vegetable oils (both the omega-3 and the omega-6 variety) are particularly strong suppressors of the immune system.  Low-fat diets have been shown to retard the development of autoimmune diseases, similar to lupus and rheumatoid arthritis, in experimental animals. Those vegan diets that have failed to help arthritis patients have been high in vegetable oils, which are known to damage intestinal integrity.

The importance of the overall diet cannot be overemphasized.  Proper foods such as whole starches, vegetables and fruits, keep the intestinal barriers strong and the immune system in a fighting condition. In addition to being free of animal products, the diet must be low in fat of all kinds - vegetable oil (even olive oil, corn, safflower, and flaxseed oil) and animal fat.  When it comes to blaming individual foods, dairy products seem to be the most troublesome foods, causing the most common and severe reactions.  Many reports indicate grains, such as corn and wheat can also aggravate the symptoms.  The truth seems to be almost any food can cause trouble, but few people react to vegetable foods.

The immune suppressing quality of oils (for example, fish oil and primrose oil) has been used to suppress the pain and inflammation of arthritis, but like too many drug therapies the ultimate outcome may not be best for the patient.  Suppression of the immune system prevents it from doing its work of removing invading foreign proteins.

One dangerous paradox in arthritis treatment is that the drugs most commonly used to treat arthritis are toxins to the intestinal barrier.  All commonly used nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (like Advil, Motrin, Naprosyn, etc.), apart from aspirin and nabumetone (Relafen), are associated with increased intestinal permeability in man. While reversible in the short term, it may take months to improve the barrier following prolonged use.

What won't change in either form of arthritis with a change of diet, is the permanent destruction, stiffness and deformity which has already happened through years of disease.

If you suffer from arthritis (either degenerative or inflammatory), try changing your diet for at least two  weeks.  Eat only whole starches (sweet potatoes, brown rice), vegetables (green and yellow) and fruits (except citrus).  Water is your beverage.

After 2 weeks, you should be feeling much better.  At that point you can add in grains and citrus.  If you start to have symptoms again, eliminate those and add them back in one at a time to see if you can decide which food(s) cause the adverse reaction.

Stop taking any nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs, and if necessary, replace with aspirin or nabumetone (Relafen).

If you try this "anti-arthritis" diet, write a comment and let me know how it worked for you.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Her Last 6 Months

How do I even begin?

I met Martha Belle approximately 40 years ago when we moved to her town.  She was my mother-in-law's first cousin - quite vivaciousglamorous and on her fourth marriage.  My husband and I were newly married, busy developing his professional practice and raising our family.  Martha and I saw each other infrequently at the beginning and then eventually lost touch.

One evening in March 2012, Martha called and asked to speak to my husband (her cousin and her dentist for all these years). She was frantic and crying, so he immediately went to her house.  She wanted him to write down names and phone numbers of her banker and attorney and pastor and her housekeeper.

Three days later on March 19th, he got a call at his office from a caseworker with the Texas department of Adult Protective Services saying they had taken Martha to a hospital in Kilgore (a town 30 miles away), but had left her dog (Precious) and the house key in her house.  They asked him to pick up the dog and lock up the house.

"Precious, meet your new housemate, Riley, the standard poodle."  Precious is a very high-strung dog and to this day will bark constantly whenever I take her in the car.

As I struggled to learn more about Martha's life and what had caused this emergency, I talked to the hospital social worker as well as her neighbors and the people my husband had written on his list during his last visit with her.

It seems that Martha had begun to develop Alzheimer's and was unable to live alone.  But because of her previously diagnosed mental illness (borderline personality disorder), she seemed incapable of having someone live with her and had fired all who had tried.  One former caretaker was worried enough about Martha's situation to call the State for help.

I finally understood about all the broken relationships in Martha's past after reading an article in the New York Times.  "Borderline patients seem to have no internal governor; they are capable of deep love and profound rage almost simultaneously. They are powerfully connected to the people close to them and terrified by the possibility of losing them — yet attack those people so unexpectedly that they often ensure the very abandonment they fear. When they want to hold, they claw instead."

During Martha's 3-week stay at the Kilgore hospital, her social worker kept in touch with me.  She told me that the doctor would only release her to a locked, memory-care facility when she was stabilized and ready to go home.

So, I began the task of finding a place for Martha to live.  As I called the people on her list to help out, most of them said that Martha had "fired" them or they had "fired" Martha.  Even her only son said he couldn't help as Martha would not want to see him.  It began to look like I was on my own, unless I also backed out and just let the State take care of her.  "If I can take care of stray dogs and feral cats, I can surely take care of a human being who has no other alternatives," I said to myself.

I found Martha a place to live - a brand new Memory Care facility that would allow her dog to live with her.  The Kilgore social worker said they would arrange to transport her there on the designated date.  I got busy, hired a mover, picked out clothes and cosmetics with the help of her former housekeeper and set up her new home. Because Martha had been a professional artist most of her life, I also hung some of her paintings.

Precious (her dog) and I went to Sundance early the morning of April 9th to await the arrival of Martha.  She finally arrived, in a wheelchair.  She knew me immediately and was extremely excited to finally see Precious again.  By the time we wheeled her from the courtyard into her new room, she burst into tears saying how beautiful everything was.  I eventually left, thinking her Kilgore social worker had explained everything to her, and that all worries were behind me.

No, that was not the case as my worries were just beginning.

Someone would have to pay her bills and make sure she had enough money to stay in this facility for a number of years.  There were prescriptions to be purchased, doctors to be found, hearing aids to be repaired, Precious to be taken to the vet because she had never been spayed and even pizza to be ordered when Martha didn't like the dinner she was served.

While Precious spent a week with me recuperating from her surgery, I went to Martha's house and packed up all of the accumulated mail and the piles of papers scattered over her kitchen table and took them home to sort.  I found her checkbook and wrote checks for any bills that were due and took them to her to sign.  I also took her a form to sign giving me the power-of-attorney.  She absolutely refused!

In fact, Martha started yelling at me and accusing me of trying to lock her up and take all of her money.  I can certainly understand how she felt that way.  There was no way I could explain the situation to her; she couldn't hear, she never stopped talking and telling me what was wrong and what she wanted, and she was confused.  There were many days that I certainly felt like "firing" her.

With all of the bills to be paid and the medical decisions to be made I talked to an attorney about the next step and was advised it would be a guardianship.  But the way it was explained to me, I would be expected to keep all kinds of records for the court and maybe I ought to think about hiring a "professional" guardian who was recommended by the attorney.

While I talked to people about having an estate sale and selling Martha's house, I did mundane tasks like trying to sort out all of her boxes of jewelry.  We started the paperwork for a guardianship which took three full months.  In the meantime, I was having to talk Martha into signing some checks or just writing checks out of my own account. 

Martha began to settle into her new home.  One day she would be on a tear and accuse everyone of conspiring to do evil things to her and her dog.  Other days she would be sweet and vivacious again.  She dressed up for a Mother's Day Tea.  I began to take her on outings which she thoroughly enjoyed.

Many days when I visited her there was a job involved - like the time she wanted me to use my "computer" (iPhone) to keep track of all her clothes because she was not getting them back from the laundry.  We spent the afternoon taking pictures of all of her clothes as she held them up for me.

Then one day the impossible happened - Martha had a major stroke as she was putting her make-up on for the day.  I got a call to meet the ambulance at the hospital.  It was Saturday, June 30, 2012.  Martha could no longer speak and her right side was paralyzed.  The next day she was able to hold a fork and feed herself.  We didn't know it then, but that was going to be her best day.  

From that time forward, I was with Martha once or twice a day.  She went from the hospital to Hospice.  Then she went from Hospice to a skilled (?) nursing facility where she quit eating and developed a blood clot in her lung.  Back to the hospital and then back for her final stay at Hospice.

Those final six weeks were so emotional.  Often, I took Precious to see her.  I would just sit with her and hold her hand.  Until the last couple of days, whenever I walked in and she saw me, her eyes lit up with joy.  That was the only way she could communicate - with her eyes and holding your hand.  I called her son and some of her "lost" friends to come and visit her.  She seemed to be so glad to see everyone.  At the end, even though she was in a Hospice facility, we hired 24/7 caretakers to sit with her.  The Hospice nurses only checked on her every 1-2 hours and I couldn't bear the thought of her dying alone. 

The morning she died (August 14, 2012) was such a relief as I knew she would no longer be suffering.

I did not understand the extent of my grief nor how long it would take to "get over" her death.  It really doesn't matter as each of us has to go through grief in our own way.

This week was Martha's Estate Sale (November 29, 2012).  When I drove up early that morning there were already dozens of cars parked on the side of the street.  Martha had a house full of beautiful things and those people were out to get a bargain.  

Most of them never knew Martha.  They didn't know she had lived a full 88 years with much sadness and hardship but also with much love.  They didn't know she was elected to be the first Drum Major of her high school band. They didn't know she sang in her high school choir which won the “All Texas Best Choral Club” award.  They didn't know she represented her small town in the “Miss Texas” contest for three years in a row.

They didn't know that Martha attended a summer art class in Taos, New Mexico, sponsored by the Hockaday School in Dallas before attending TCU in Fort Worth. They didn't know that while at TCU she was chosen “Ranch Week Queen” and studied art, mechanical engineering and draftsmanship.  They didn't know that during her time at TCU, she designed and etched the horned frog used to represent the school and was also awarded a “Teacher of Art Certificate.”

They didn't know that upon graduation, she was hired by Consolidated in Fort Worth where she designed manufacturing devices and components for military aircraft.  They didn't know that after the war, she opened her own art studio on McKinney Avenue in Dallas where she painted portraits of many prominent people. They didn't know she designed the program covers, posters and stationery for the State Fair Horse Show and the Dallas Charity Horse Shows for twenty-eight years.

As I walked through her familiar house at the sale, I found the perfect keepsake.  I purchased a beautiful ceramic planter for the plant I had from Martha's funeral.  Now I have two cheerful, living reminders of my deep friendship with Martha - a lovely green plant in a beautiful planter and a chipper little dog who has transferred all of her love and affection to me.

I needed to get this story out as the tears have been flowing for too long.  Maybe this will help me remember those good times and know that Martha had a good, exciting long life and now she is in that wonderful place she passionately dreamed of. 

RIP sweet Martha Belle.

You go girl!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Are "Thank-You" Notes Out of Style?

This post is about gratitude.  Study after study has shown that people are happier when they are grateful. Sometimes it is suggested that you make a gratitude journal to remind yourself of the good things in your life.  But, what if you not only reminded yourself of all you have to be thankful for, but you actually practiced showing your gratitude by writing thank-you notes?  That would not only make you feel happier, but it would make someone else happier, too.

This post is as much to remind me of the importance of thanking people as it is for you. Too often I neglect to send a thank-you note within a couple of days of attending a party or an event or after receiving a gift.

What is wrong with me?!

Well, I’m busy. Aren’t you? If I think about it, I’m not too busy for the things in my life that I deem important. As my grandmother used to say, “Don’t tell me about your values. Show me what your values are by your actions.”

I love to be thanked or acknowledged, and I bet you do to. I have a friend who regularly writes thank-you notes. What a delight it is when two days after I’ve thrown a party or had her over for dinner, I find a thank-you note in my mailbox. She has made me realize how valuable those notes of appreciation can be. When I read them I automatically feel happier.

How can you get back in the habit of sitting down and writing those notes?

One practical way is to make sure you have the supplies - some nice note cards, stamps and a pen. Keep your note cards in a drawer in your kitchen or another easily accessible place.  That way while you are waiting for the coffee to perk or the water to boil, you can pull one out and write your note.  You can always go look up an address once your note is written.

What do you write in a thank-you note?

My favorite notes usually mention something personal.

Here is an example of an appropriate note which is definitely a step up from not getting a note, but it's not personal.

Dear Sally,

Thank you so much for the lovely party you gave last evening. Jim and I really enjoyed ourselves.


Your Name
If you are going to make the effort to write, why not go ahead and make it personal?
Dear Sally,

The party last night was wonderful! Your house looked fantastic and the pink roses and candles you had everywhere certainly added to the warm and festive atmosphere.
I certainly appreciate you introducing me to Janet Jones. We had a delightful conversation and I look forward to visiting with her again.

I always look forward to your invitations as I know the effort you put in to make sure your guests have a delightful time. Thanks for including me.

Warmest regards,

Your Name
If you have a business, think about the impact you could make on your potential clients or customers if someone involved in their first visit would sit down and write a personal thank-you note that very day.

From a dentist, doctor, weight-loss coach or chiropractor:
“I understand how much nerve it took for you to actually come in to talk today. You have been worried for quite some time about your problem, yet you were leery of addressing it. I hope we made you comfortable enough to go on with the next step.”
From a children's store or department store:
“I saw how important your granddaughter must be to you as you were trying to find just the perfect outfit for her today. I’m glad we found something you liked.”
From a veterinarian:
“I see how important your pets are to you and how nerve-wracking it is for you to have to trap those feral cats each year to bring them in for their vaccinations. I love it that someone with your heart for animals has chosen to bring them to our clinic. I do hope you feel that we are kindred spirits.”
Think about the things that people have done for you and restart your gratitude project with thank-you notes.

Leave me a comment and tell me how you're doing.